


In the Morning

by ThereBeWhalesHere



Series: Stories about Shine [7]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 15:36:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19478890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereBeWhalesHere/pseuds/ThereBeWhalesHere
Summary: Valen and Shine have been dating now for six months. Valen's happy with how things are going -- happier than he'd imagined he'd be, dating a very famous pop star and all. But there's something he's yet to bring himself to attempt, something Shine wants, something Valen is beginning to want very much himself.And, okay, in the privacy of his own thoughts, he can admit it. Valen wants to fuck him.*This story is part of my series,Stories About Shine, and specifically mentions the events of "Holding Out for a Hero" and "A Boyfriend Thing," though you don't necessarily have to know much about this series at all to understand this one.





	In the Morning

**Author's Note:**

> Wooooo more ValenShine! I really wanted to post their first time before sharing any of the other stories I have written for them. So here it goes!
> 
> Special thanks as always to my AMAZING WIFE, who let me borrow Valen's POV for this whole story, and who helped tighten his dialogue and who also owns Valen so is responsible for all his schmoopy goodness. 
> 
> Love these boys! Love you for reading these boys! Kisses to all!

The narrow hallway with its concrete floors echoed loudly around Valen, the sound of his footsteps boomeranging back ad infinitum. A few solid, closed doors lined the hall, music filtering quietly through them, muffled, but there was no one else in the corridor. It felt like a ghost town or the first few minutes of a horror movie, and Valen double checked the paper pinched between his fingers, though he was certain he was in the right place.

He’d torn the page earlier at a haphazard angle from his phone pad, and scrawled Shine’s directions onto it. The address had led him already to some massive, utilitarian skyscraper in Manhattan, and the following directions had since led him up an elevator, down some corridors with floor-to-ceiling windows showing off the vanity of their view; and now, here. 

Valen checked the studio number on the page against the doors he passed, the bassline trembling through the soles of his shoes leading him toward the end of that hall, toward the door labeled “Studio 6,” toward the music he recognized. 

In spite of the discomfort of being in both an unfamiliar and aesthetically unwelcoming place, a small smile ticked Valen’s lips at the tune he could hear better now, standing right outside its door. The high wail of Shine’s violin over a chorus of guitar, bass, drums, all blasting out of speakers so loud he wondered that this profession hadn’t yet caused his beloved to go deaf.

As Valen tucked the paper into the pocket of his jeans, he muffled a small laugh in his fist. Shine might have asked Valen to meet him here not because he was running late as he’d said, but just so he could show off his choreography for the new music video. He  _ did _ like to impress Valen. Not that he needed to, of course. It was a marvel that he even bothered.

Tucking the paper into the pocket of his jeans, he leveled a few knocks to the door, then, with the understanding that no one inside would be able to hear him over the music, pushed it open. The dance studio beyond was booming with music -- far louder than Valen had realized standing in the hallway. It smacked into him physically, a tidal wave of sound, and he nearly threw himself backwards into the safety of the hallway.

But the sight of Shine was enough to freeze him where he stood. Shine. His partner. The international musical sensation himself, moving in time to the melody. He dropped into a split, hopped to his feet, spun in a tight circle, his face wearing a permanent smile that Valen could see in the mirrored wall before him. Shine was reflected everywhere, the flashing violet of his hair, his clothes an assemblage of garrish patterns and colors so bright Valen figured they could probably be seen from space. Zebra-striped leggings, bright yellow leg warmers and a matching sweatband, a bright purple tanktop patterned with teal squiggles. Valen had to blink past the colors to see the shimmer of Shine’s honey skin beneath, glinting with sweat as, in the mirror, Shine watched himself going through practiced motions. 

“Close the door,” a voice shouted from the corner of the room, and Valen whipped his head around to the severe-looking woman wearing her own dance skins, standing off to the side of the studio. At her voice, Shine stopped and turned, too, but his smile grew Cheshire-wide the second he saw Valen.

“It’s okay, Mona,” Shine shouted breathlessly, waving at her. “Turn off the music!” Valen glaced to her just long enough to see her roll her eyes before he turned back to Shine, who was jogging toward him, cheeks flushed from effort. With the click of a stereo button, the studio went silent.

“Hey big guy!” Shine said, and Valen had just enough presence of mind to cross the threshold into the room before Shine was on him, hopping up to wrap his arms around Valen’s shoulders. Valen returned the embrace, gut clenching at the heat of Shine’s body against him, the smell of sweat and the warm breath Shine exhaled against his chest. It was coming out in spurts, his heart hammering against Valen’s own. 

Beneath his shirt, Valen’s thumb stroked the sweat from the dip of Shine’s back.

“Thanks for comin’,” Shine said as he pulled away, dropping to his feet. The tension in Valen’s stomach coiled harder at the sight of his smile. Another droplet of sweat slid down Shine’s neck. 

“Ah,” Valen began, throat tight. “Ah, of course, Shine. I hope I’m not interrupting.” He glanced back to Mona, her lips twisted in a sneer.

“Oh, shit, yeah, Mona this is my partner Valen,” Shine said. “Valen this is Mona. She’s my ruthless taskmaster.” 

“Dance instructor,” Mona corrected with a scoff. “And choreographer.” She didn’t approach to shake Valen’s hand. “And yes, actually, you  _ are _ interrupting.” 

Shine groaned. “Mona,” he whined, “I told ya he was comin’ to get me. We can pick this back up tomorrow. I been at it for hours.” He turned back to Valen, laying a hand on Valen’s arm. “I can’t wait for you to see the video, big guy. I ain’t never danced like this before. When the Buggles said video killed the radio star, they weren’t kidding! This radio star’s about to croak.”

“He’s made that joke eight times today,” Mona put in. She was kneeling by an open tote bag, fishing around in there for something. Her scowl seemed permanently affixed to her face. “Please laugh so I don’t have to.”

Valen would have laughed, really, but he was still arrested by that little droplet of sweat, the flush on Shine’s cheeks. That  _ smile _ . The feeling of Shine’s hand warm and damp against him.

“You okay, big guy?” Shine asked, and Valen swallowed. 

Jesus wept, but Shine was  _ attractive _ . And not in the way he was onstage, with his tight leather pants and the glitter and the perfect makeup and the perfect coif of hair. He was attractive because he was here and he was smiling at Valen and he was dressed like he’d wandered into his closet with his eyes closed. 

“Ready to go home?” Valen asked instead of responding to Shine’s question. He didn’t think he had an accurate answer.

Shine just smiled sweetly at him, leaning up and bringing a hand to Valen’s cheek. Valen took the invitation gladly, leaning down in turn so he could take Shine’s lips in a kiss. Something soft and warm, Shine’s lips pliant as they pressed against his. 

“Thanks for pickin’ me up,” Shine whispered softly against his lips, the ghost of his breath a soft reminder of what awaited them when they got home.

“I haven’t picked you up yet,” Valen whispered. Before Shine could decipher it, he knelt down just far enough to scoop his arms under Shine’s ass and heft him upwards. Shine squealed and laughed, allowing himself to be tossed over Valen’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. 

Overjoyed by the simple sound of Shine’s joy, Valen spun him in a circle, his chest tight as it choked out a laugh of its own. “Now then, you can thank me for pickin’ you up.”

“You brute, put me down,” Shine breathed through giggles, pounding Valen’s back with weak fists, kicking his legs, doing nothing to actually dislodge Valen’s grip. 

Spinning so the room became a single blur -- stark white walls and a mirror where their shifting colors blended together -- Valen forgot about Mona until she cleared her throat loudly from nearby, and he startled to a stop, Shine letting out an  _ oomph _ as gravity dropped his legs to Valen’s chest. 

Quickly, Valen settled Shine to his feet, his own face flushed but the smile not yet leaving him.

“Towel,” Mona said unceremoniously, and tossed one into Shine’s hands. He caught it and smiled. 

“Am I free then?” he asked. 

Mona’s lips curled in a reluctant shadow of a smile. “See you tomorrow, Shine,” she said. 

* * *

The feeling didn’t leave Valen as he stood over Shine’s stove, stirring the spinach as it wilted gently in its vat of butter. Usually, Valen could lose himself in the steam rising off a pan, the rhythmic thud of a knife on a cutting board, the white-noise sizzle of oil in the skillet.

But tonight he was hyper aware of Shine sitting on the counter beside him as he chatted away, swinging his legs, his hair still wet from the shower. Just as Valen had been hyper-aware of the shower  _ itself _ , water smacking porcelain, the sound of Shine’s humming slipping through the apartment, the thought of Shine with soap in his hair and his eyes closed and suds running in little rivers down his body.

Valen cleared his throat, and Shine poked his shoulder. “Hey now, you even listening?”

Startling slightly, Valen glanced up from the quickly wilting spinach, and offered a wilting smile to match. “Of course. You were talking about your video.” 

Shine raised his eyebrow. “That could’ve been a good guess. I been talkin’ about my video for like six hours now.” 

“Apologies, Shine,” Valen said, turning back to the pan. “I suppose I’m just distracted today.”

There must have been something in his voice -- hopefully nothing that hinted to the thoughts that had so occupied his mind -- because as he shut off the stove and began to pan the spinach out onto their plates, Shine stared at him with a scrutinizing look.

“What’s goin’ on? Some customer rude to you again? I tell you, give me a list of names and I can ruin ‘em.” 

Valen snorted, setting the pan on an unused burner and scooping their plates into his hands. “Grab the silverware, killer,” he said sweetly, and Shine gave him an indulgent kind of look. He hopped off the counter -- graceful even in that -- and patted Valen’s stomach as he passed toward the silverware drawer.

Six months into this, this strange and beautiful relationship Valen had accidentally found himself in, and this now felt natural. The plates in his hands, the dining room table past the kitchen, lit by a chandelier that likely cost as much as Valen’s whole furniture studio, the sound of Shine shuffling about in the kitchen and humming to himself. He was always humming to himself. So much music inside him that always wanted out. 

Valen set down their plates, and in moments Shine had followed with the silverware. “Alright so since I been talkin’ the whole time you been cookin’, it’s your turn,” Shine said, leaning up for a little peck of a kiss before he took his own seat. Valen followed suit, settling down and folding his hands over his plate.

Unlike everyone else in Valen’s life, Shine didn’t say grace. Valen didn’t even know if he abstained because he was Jewish or because he was Shine. But Shine just scooped up his fork and dug into the mashed potatoes, making a soft, surprised, nearly orgasmic face at the first taste. But once Valen finished his silent grace and began to eat himself, silence settled between them. Shine never liked things to be quiet for long.

“Come on,” Shine said around a mouthful. “What’s on your mind? Gimme something here big guy.” With a small smile, Valen recalled the bar where they’d met. This beautiful, incredibly drunk man lounging beside him, taking a crowbar to Valen’s hard shell and prying it open with a smile and a wink.

Valen held his fork loosely, poking at the chicken breast and considering. What  _ was _ on his mind? Shine, like he usually was. Like he’d been since the day they met. Shine’s kiss, Shine’s lips on his neck, Shine in his lap and grinding up against him, Shine’s mouth around him -- 

Would sex really be such a stretch, now that they’d come so far? Would anything? He’d been raised not to have sex until marriage. Marriage would never be on the table for he and Shine, but love? The kind of love on which a marriage could be built? That was possible. That was right there, within reach. Maybe he had already grasped it.

“ _ Valen _ ,” Shine wheedled, poking the table between them with his fork. "What're ya thinking about?"

Valen let out a short breath, gave himself permission for a small smile. "You were beautiful dancing today," he said quietly.

When his eyes darted to the other side of the table, Shine was grinning. "You damn liar," he laughed. "I was sweating like a pig, and I ain't exactly the picture of grace."

He wiggled his fingers, and Valen chucked, shoving his chicken round the plate.

"It was nice. To see you like that. Like this, even." With his fork, he gestured to Shine, fresh out of the shower with bags under his eyes from weeks of hard work, hair mussed and damp. He was wearing sweatpants and an old t-shirt, like a normal person. Valen loved Shine onstage, but he loved him most like this.  _ This _ Shine was all his.

"Well then I ain't never getting dressed up for you again," Shine huffed in mock offense. "Here I am before every date getting every fuckin' hair in place, and you like me  _ messy _ ."

He almost said it --  _ I love you messy _ \-- but stopped himself in time. "You know you don't have to dress up for me," he said. As if he could even tell the difference between a good hair day and a bad hair day; Shine should know better by now.

Shine shrugged. "How else am I gonna keep you around? I still don't believe you're staying for my personality." 

Valen laughed. "What else would I be staying for? The sex?"

With a snort, Shine gave Valen one of those sweet, fond looks he loved so much. "After that 'research' you've been doing," he put the word in air quotes, "you'd probably hate for it to go to waste and all, yeah? How much time have you spent watching porn in preparation for the big day?"

"Too much," Valen said without missing a beat. That was an easy question to answer. "And I am not  _ entirely _ sure it's helped."

Nudging Valen's foot under the table, Shine wore an undying grin. "Y’know the only way to get good at sex is to practice,” he said. “You can watch as much porn as you want, read all the Cosmo articles you want, and -- you know, you can take all the  _ time _ you want --but you don’t gotta be nervous. Sex with you is gonna be better than sex with anyone else.”

Valen scoffed, he couldn’t really hold it in, and Shine kicked him gently. “Hey, none of that shit,” he said, pointing his fork. “I mean it. Everything else has been better with you. Dating--” he began to tick off his fingers -- “kissing, cludding, handies, blowies--”

“You know I hate the word ‘blowie’.” Valen muttered, but he  _ was _ smiling, and a heat had begun to crawl up his cheeks at the praise. 

Shine noticed, the little imp. Something triumphant glinted in his eyes. “I’m just sayin’, y’know the ‘main event’ you been so worried about? It ain’t gonna be no different than anything we done before, you and me.”

Contemplating Shine for a moment, Valen fell into a short silence, his meal nearly forgotten on the table in front of him. Instead, he watched Shine take a pointed forkful of food and shove it between his lips. Messy, sloppy, silly, and maybe exaggeratedly so for Valen’s benefit. To make him smile, to make him laugh. Shine liked making Valen smile.

And Valen would do anything to make Shine happy. “I think I’d like to stay over tonight,” he finally said, and took a bite of spinach to save himself saying anything more.

Shine leaned back, settling more comfortably in his chair. “Oh? Sure, ‘course big guy. It’s always nice havin’ you over.” An easy smile touched his lips. “That means we can stay up late as you want. Maybe cuddle up and watch a movie after dinner? Fall asleep on the couch like a couple'a teenagers?”

Valen swallowed. God, that sounded nice. And it was an out. If he wanted an out. But he’d made a decision somewhere between the dance studio and this dinner table, and the T-shirt was falling off of Shine’s shoulder, and Shine smelled like lavender from his shower, and he was so patient and sweet in his own impatient and petulant way, and Valen --

“No,” Valen said cautiously, “I mean. I’d like to stay over. With you. Tonight.”

“Yeah?” Shine. “What was I talkin’ about then?”

Valen set his fork down. “I want to make love to you.”

Maybe the following silence only felt so profound because, looking into Shine’s eyes, he could feel the words sinking into him like stones in quicksand. Shine blinked, those bright golden eyes wide and unsure, and then as if in slow motion, every single muscle of Shine’s body pulled itself taut.

“You -- do?”

“Come now, it can’t come as that much of a surprise,” Valen said, hoping his tone didn’t sound deflecting. Of course it did. He’d asked for patience for six months, each day wondering if Shine would get tired of waiting. They’d touched each other by now, Valen’s first shy attempt to get Shine off on the couch a few months ago; Shine’s first time convincing Valen that, no, getting on his knees did not feel demeaning; and plentiful handjobs given alongside tender, breathy kisses. But Shine hadn’t made any secret he wanted more than that.

And maybe he’d given up on hoping.

“I mean, it’s a  _ little bit _ of a surprise,” Shine said. “I thought you weren’t done with your ‘research’.” 

“I wasn’t,” Valen said quickly. This research had involved a few shameful magazine and video tape purchases and a great deal of note-taking, but he’d done it, by god, and he had planned to do it for a while longer. “I could research forever, Shine. I’m sorely tempted to, I should say. But you’re right -- it won’t be all that different from what we’ve done before and --” he paused, then, quieter, “And you did look very beautiful today.”

Feeling restless, Valen took up his fork again, stirring some spinach into his potatoes and forcing himself to take a bite, though his appetite had fled with the onslaught of nerves. 

When he cast his eyes up to Shine once again, Shine was biting his lip, his leg bouncing. He looked like a trembling chihuahua. But there was a smile on his face, bright and overwhelming -- it looked like he was trying to contain it.

Their eyes met, and Shine’s leg stopped moving. “You wanna fuck me,” he said in a tone of soft wonder, and Valen wished he could control the flush that spread like wildfire over his cheeks. 

“Now, do you have to be so vulgar about it?” he scoffed, looking back down to his plate. Beneath the table, Shine’s foot nudged his own again. 

“You’ve met me, yeah?”

Valen, begrudgingly, smiled as he lifted the fork to his lips once more. “Aye, that I have.”

But as he stared down, determined not to meet Shine’s eyes lest his blush deepen a further-embarrassing shade of red, the sound of a chair scraping against the hardwood reached his ears, followed by the padding footsteps of Shine’s bare feet. 

Shine’s presence drew up beside him, warm and floral. Fitting -- that he always smelled of lavender. Valen didn’t look up until Shine’s hand landed on his shoulder. As their eyes locked, Shine traced his touch up Valen’s neck, until those deft fingers were cupped around Valen’s chin, holding him there gently. 

“If you ain’t ready --”

“Shine,” Valen said, laying his hand over Shine’s and holding it against his skin. The warm touch steadying. “I wouldn’t have said it if I weren’t ready.”

Though that little voice in his head protested. Of course he wasn’t  _ ready _ . He was almost 33 years old, and he’d never touched anyone until he touched Shine. He’d never dreamed of being with anyone until he had dreamed of being with Shine. And Shine had been with more people than even he could likely count -- men and women and others more experienced and more passionate and more everything than Valen. He had no hope of catching up.

But he wanted to try.

Shine let the silence hang this time, no nervous fidgeting, no humming, no nothing but the steady in and out of his breath. It was as though he was searching Valen for something.

Whether or not he found it, Valen couldn’t say. But soon Shine was leaning down, his lips pressing warm and gentle against Valen’s, his tongue darting out to lick at Valen’s upper lip. That small flick sent a shiver straight down to Valen’s toes.

“Bedroom, then?” Shine asked, straightening, hand still warm against Valen’s cheek. 

Valen found it in himself to laugh. “Now, you’ve been waiting six months, you can wait a few minutes more. Finish your dinner.”

He gestured to Shine’s barely-touched plate with his fork, and Shine’s shoulders slumped. “Aw, c’mon big guy!” He playfully shoved Valen’s face away, laughing. “You wanna drop that bomb before dinner you can bet I’m gonna want dessert first.”

The suggestive lift of his eyebrows was cute, if unconvincing. Valen needed this time to prepare, to calm down, to not think about what was going to happen after. “If all you ever learn from me is a bit of Catholic restraint, it will do you wonders,” Valen replied, turning back to his meal. He was past the point of not hungry now, his stomach twisting in anxious knots, but he had to lead by example.

With a melodramatic sigh, Shine returned to his side of the table, flopping down in his seat. “Restraint ain’t my scene, big guy,” he said, but dutifully shoveled a scoop of potatoes in his mouth all the same. "And you wanna  _ fuck _ me." This was muttered around his mouthful, stuffed lips smiling.

“And if you keep saying it like that I’ll retract the offer,” Valen joked. It helped to ease a bit of the tension inside him, though, when Shine laughed. 

“Then I’d better stop talkin’. Do somethin’ else with my mouth, huh?” Shine said. And though the implication in that was clear, he simply took a forkful of chicken between his teeth, his bright eyes steady on Valen’s own.

And, okay, in the privacy of his own thoughts, he could admit it. Valen wanted to fuck him.

  
  


* * *

Valen had offered to take care of the dishes while Shine prepared. Given what that preparation apparently entailed from Valen’s research, Valen ended up with the more desirable chore. But all the while he felt consumed with restless energy, nearly dropping the sudsy plates in his haste to finish the task and get to the bedroom.

He wanted to beat Shine there, if only so he had a little time to sit and think and prepare  _ himself _ . Shine might bear the brunt of the physical preparation, but Valen had no doubt everything that followed would be easy for him.

_ How many men have been where you are now? _ A voice in Valen’s mind hissed. 

Valen didn’t answer it. It didn’t matter if Shine said it didn’t matter. 

“The little fella likes you,” Valen muttered to himself as he set the last plate up in the drying rack. He wiped his hands on the dish towel hanging on the oven door. “He likes you right now, and he’ll like you tomorrow.”

“Damn right I will,” a voice said by the doorway. Valen startled, turning to face Shine, who was leaning against the doorframe with a little smile on his face. He was wearing his sweatpants, but apparently hadn’t felt like bothering with a shirt. The plane of his smooth chest proved distracting, but Valen did his best to meet Shine’s eyes.

“I’ll likely disappoint you, Shine,” Valen said quietly. It was a concern he had voiced before -- a thousand times before. Somehow it hadn’t been true yet. 

Shine pushed off from the wall and moved slowly over to Valen, lifting his hands to rest on Valen’s chest. He wore a gentle kind of smile, nothing cocky or proud. Just -- just a smile.

“No matter what,” Shine said, “I’m gonna be here in the morning.”

“You live here,” Valen pointed out. 

“Oh stop,” Shine huffed, leaning closer up against Valen now, his hands climbing to tangle in Valen’s hair. “You know what I mean, yeah? I’m invested in you and all. I don’t care if you ain’t any good.”

“I do.”

Delicate fingers brushed a lock of hair behind Valen’s ear. “I wasn’t any good my first time,” Shine said. “Had no fuckin’ idea what I was doing. Didn’t even have much porn to go off of.” He shared a conspiratorial smile, and Valen ducked his head to hide his own. 

“But,” Shine continued. “It felt damn good, and I learned what I liked and I learned what other people like. And you and me already got a head start. I think we got a pretty good idea what we like, right?”

Valen’s face must have spoken for him, because Shine laughed and ducked his head to Valen’s chest. His hands roamed down Valen’s arms. “At least we know  _ one _ thing,” he continued, “I like you. And you like me. That’s enough, ain’t it?”

Somehow, Valen found his arms coming around Shine’s shoulders, holding him in an embrace. Shine breathed against him like he had earlier that day, warm and soft and safe and  _ his _ . “You do like me, right?” Shine asked, voice muffled in Valen’s shirt.

He pulled away, and Valen wondered how Shine could ask that question with any kind of sincerity. 

_ I love you _ , Valen thought. But he didn’t say it aloud. Instead, he leaned down and kissed him. Shine wrapped his arms around Valen’s neck without a hint of hesitation, lifting himself into Valen’s embrace, tilting his head into their kiss, and Valen licked the seam of Shine’s lips.

_ I love you, and that’s the only reason I can do this.  _ He thought.  _ It’s the only reason I  _ want  _ to do this. And I want this so much. _

He was never very good at talking about how he felt. Never had anyone to confide in -- never  _ practiced _ . So he hoped Shine might understand him even without words. Shine hummed into his mouth, pressed up against him, nibbled at Valen’s lower lip, and Valen became suddenly hyper-aware of every line of contact between their bodies, the heat of Shine against him, the huff of breath out Shine’s nose, tickling Valen’s skin.

Valen’s fingers curled along the waistband of Shine’s sweatpants, just barely grazing his skin, and Shine let out a quiet puff of air. 

“See,” Shine breathed, “you’re getting me worked up and we ain’t even started.” His lips smiled against Valen’s own. “So whaddya say we go to bed, big guy?”

Nodding, Valen tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. “Alright,” he said as casually as he could. Shine undoubtedly saw right through him, but he didn’t say a word. He just took Valen’s hand and pulled away, leading Valen down the hall. 

Valen focused his nerves on the spot between Shine’s shoulder blades, lightly freckled. He traced his attention to the mole on his right shoulder, then to the line of his spine, where it led downward to the loose waistband of his pants. It was too real -- or just real enough -- and Shine’s hand clenched hard and warm around Valen’s own as if he could sense it.

And by the time Shine turned around on the threshold of his bedroom and tugged Valen into his arms, Valen felt as close to ready as he’d likely ever be. Shine kissed him again, soothing and warm, his hands trailing up Valen’s sides under the flaps of his flannel shirt. The touch was so light it nearly tickled -- almost  _ hesitant _ for Shine. Valen leaned into it, granting permission, kissing Shine as if to distract himself from what his own hands were doing.

But he couldn’t ignore the way Shine’s skin felt under his fingers -- his rough, calloused fingers from decades of work, dry and catching against the perfect, smooth plane of his beloved’s back. Shine hummed at his touch, urging Valen to follow as he led them over to the bed. 

They stumbled somewhat awkwardly -- their difference in height alone a detriment, even without Valen’s clumsiness causing him to step on Shine’s toes. But Shine giggled it away, some magical sound that managed even to dispel the worst cobwebs of Valen’s nerves. 

The backs of Shine’s knees hit the mattress and he fell back, a fist in Valen’s shirt to take him down, too, but Valen stood steadfast, even at the consternation in Shine’s eyes. 

“You comin’ or what?” Shine asked, settling down on the bed and spreading his legs. Damn him, he was well aware of how he looked. 

Valen laid a hand over Shine’s, still fisted in the flannel.

“I don’t want to crush you,” he said. Cautiously, he set a knee on the bed beside Shine’s thigh. Maybe if he just straddled him, kept his weight on his knees --

But Shine grinned like he knew and didn’t much care for Valen’s plans.

“Crush me,” Shine breathed. With that, he yanked hard on Valen’s shirt, and Valen’s balance wavered. He toppled bodily with an indelicate grunt, knocking the breath out of both of them.

Shine laughed from deep in his belly, the sound vibrating through him, and as Valen tried to get his elbows and knees under him to give Shine room, two arms came around his back and two legs wrapped around his ass and Shine squeezed, holding him there.

“Aw, yes,” Shine giggled. “That’s my big man.”

Valen managed to lean up, to meet Shine’s eyes, and Shine was smiling at him like he’d never been happier in his life.

“I like the way you feel on top of me,” Shine whispered. He rucked up Valen’s shirt, finding bare skin with long fingers. Valen shivered.

“I’m not too heavy?” He whispered. Shine just wiggled beneath him, and the sudden brush of friction between their groins made Valen’s eyes blow wide, his lips part.

“You’re perfect,” Shine assured him. He ran his hands up Valen’s back, dug his fingers into Valen’s skin, and took Valen’s lips in another warm kiss.

It felt different now, laying over Shine while Shine licked into his mouth, hungrily taking charge of the kiss even as Valen held him immobile. Valen could feel every minute movement of Shine’s body beneath him, could feel Shine’s heartbeat and his breath and the subtle clench of his thighs around Valen’s hips.

And though brushes of arousal and excitement had coursed through him when they’d kissed in the kitchen -- and all day, if he was being honest -- this felt close and real and infinitely more pressing. And the force of that sensation rushed southward; he began to harden against Shine's own half-mast erection.

Shine hummed into his mouth, then pulled back, his head falling back onto the duvet. The black silk proved a startling contrast to the violet of Shine's mussed hair, the warm golden shine of his skin. “You okay takin’ off your shirt, big guy?” He asked.

Shine had never seen him shirtless before. Valen hesitated, and Shine squeezed his sides. “Hey, it’s okay if --”

“No, no, I -- give me a moment,” Valen said. He placed a small kiss to the tip of Shine’s nose, then reared up on his knees. His fingers were trembling as he set about undoing the first button of his flannel. Shine took charge of the bottom buttons though, popping one, then another, and revealing the white of Valen’s undershirt. Still pinned beneath him, Shine couldn’t do much more than watch as Valen struggled with the rest.

“Big guy,” Shine said softly, but Valen shook his head. 

“I’m alright, just -- just nervous.” It was hard to admit, but Shine just smiled at him.

“I know, that’s why we’re goin’ slow. It’s alright.”

“ _ This _ is slow?” Valen asked, finally undoing the last of his buttons and shrugging out of his shirt. He could see the outline of Shine’s erection through his sweatpants, and he knew his own might be obvious under his khakis. This felt like a  _ sprint _ , not a marathon.

Shine laughed, slipping his fingers under Valen’s undershirt even as Valen took the plunge and yanked it over his head. Shine must have known his laugh was like a balm for Valen’s nerves. He was so free with his laughter. Always, but especially here. 

But the second the shirt fell to the floor, he wasn’t laughing anymore. His pupils were wide and dark as twin new moons, and the smile on his face looked frozen. 

“Holy shit,” Shine whispered. His hands climbed Valen’s stomach lovingly, tenderly, thumbs brushing hipbones. 

“What? Valen asked, half tempted to cover himself. Instead, he reluctantly let Shine explore.

“Like you don’t know,” Shine scoffed. He wiggled out from under Valen, scooching back on the bed so he could sit up on his own knees, so he could run his hands over Valen’s pecs and through the coarse auburn hair covering his chest. “You’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” Shine whispered.

Before Valen could deny it, Shine leaned in, burying his face in Valen’s neck and licking a stripe up to his ear. 

The shiver that ran through Valen’s body likely could’ve caused an earthquake, and Valen almost reeled away from the sudden sensation, but then Shine took his lips again, kissing him thoroughly, squeezing his chest and running thumbs over Valen’s nipples, and all rational thought fled Valen’s mind as he whimpered into Shine’s mouth. His hands found the curve of Shine’s neck, and he held him there. Kissing was alright -- kissing was wonderful. He’d been kissing Shine now for nearly six months.

And kissing could distract him from Shine’s hands roaming down to his belt, from the pop of the buckle, from the zip of his fly. 

“This okay?” Shine breathed. Valen nodded wordlessly, all he could muster, but it did the trick. 

Shine’s thumbs hooked into the waistband of his underwear, and he gently worked the clothes over the curve of Valen’s ass.

Panting slightly into their kiss, Valen allowed Shine to pull Valen’s erection out of his briefs, slip the slacks down his thighs to where his knees were planted on the bed. Shine gave him a few solid strokes, and Valen nearly crumpled at the delicate friction. 

“Holy shit, I’m so fucking lucky,” Shine whispered. He steadied himself on his own knees, laying a kiss to Valen’s collarbone, the hollow of his throat, his adam’s apple, all while gently tugging Valen into full hardness. 

It wasn’t difficult. All it took was Shine’s praise, whispered like promises against Valen’s skin, to make Valen feel like he was about to explode. 

Shine pulled back after a moment, leaving a chaste kiss on Valen’s lips as he shuffled to the head of the bed. Valen remained where he was, practically frozen in place as he watched Shine move away. 

Shine settled on his side and patted the space beside him. “Come here and lay down, big guy,” he said.

Valen must have looked thoroughly debauched already, flushed with heat as he was, his shirt gone and his erection standing proud, slacks around his knees. So he managed to stand, to slip the khakis off his legs and yank off his socks. And, with the comfort of Shine’s expectant gaze, he crawled up the bed and took the space beside Shine that he occupied when they fell asleep together. 

“Is this right?” Valen asked.

Shine smiled. “You’re layin’ stiff as a board,” he replied. “Relax a little, yeah? Get comfortable.” 

That was easier said than done, but Valen adjusted the pillow under his head, tried to ease the tension in his hands and arms and legs and -- well, everywhere, really.

Shine rubbed his arm gently, warm, his gaze trailing down Valen’s body in a way that made Valen feel vulnerable and exposed -- but god Shine was looking at him like a four-course meal. As Valen forced himself to rest his head back against the pillow, Shine’s touch trailed over his chest and he laid a leg over Valen’s lap. 

Valen swallowed. 

“Can I get on top of you?” Shine asked. 

“Don’t know what else you were planning on doing,” Valen desperately joked, and Shine chuckled.

“You got such a mouth on you when you want one,” Shine muttered, swinging his leg over Valen’s hips and straddling his lap. He pitched his voice lower, almost a purr. “But you’re getting my mouth on you now.”

Shine surged forward, hands coming to the sides of Valen’s face as he pulled him into a kiss. He pressed himself down against Valen’s abdomen, putting pressure on his cock but leaving Valen’s bare and straining for friction. It wasn’t easy to forget how naked Valen was with Shine all over him, kissing him, hands roaming over his body like he couldn’t get enough of the touch. Especially given that Shine had yet to shed his own pants. Between the two of them, he was hardly the modest one. 

Valen ran his hands down Shine’s back, slipped his fingers under the waistband of his sweatpants, and took two firm handfuls of Shine’s ass.

Shine yelped into his mouth, pulling back in surprise. “Woah there,” he said, eyes wide. “Now who wants to go slow?”

“You mind taking these off?” Valen asked, strained. He snapped the waistband against Shine’s hip. 

After a moment, as the request sank in, a smile burst like sunshine over Shine’s face. “Always surprising me, ain’t ya, handsome?” he said. “Have it your way, then.” 

Unfortunately that meant that Shine had to move away from him. He hefted himself up and shifted back, settling between Valen’s outstretched legs as he slipped the sweatpants off his legs and tossed them onto the floor. Of course he wasn’t wearing underwear, Valen thought with some fond exasperation. 

Shine might have noticed the look in his eyes; he grinned. “Easy access,” he said, then turned fully back to Valen.

His cock was  _ definitely _ hard, flushed pink and at a stand, and under the static roar of his nerves, Valen managed a smile. “I did that,” he said proudly, gesturing to Shine’s groin.

Shine glanced down, then back up to Valen. “Uh, yeah.”

“Just by layin’ on top of you.” 

Shine snorted. “Yeah, well, if you ain’t noticed you’re pretty fuckin’ hot, big guy.” He crawled back up the bed, settling like a puzzle piece between Valen’s legs, though not brushing up against him yet. 

Shine reached out to run a hand up and down Valen’s stomach. “You still doin’ okay?” he asked. 

Maybe he could see Valen’s hands trembling where they rested over his chest. 

“Yes,” he lied. “Mostly.” 

Shine reached between them, gently trailing his fingers up the underside of Valen’s cock. Valen shivered, his hands clenching. “You’re doin’ great,” Shine promised him. He shuffled down slightly, getting his knees under him as he leaned down. 

But it was with his lips hovering over the tip of Valen’s cock that Valen -- on instinct -- grabbed a fistfull of Shine’s hair to stop him.

“What?” Shine asked, looking up to him, worried. 

Valen knew what Shine’s blowjobs were like. “If you do that, I can’t promise we’ll make it to the main event,” Valen managed to say, flushing hotter. 

Tension bled from Shine’s face as he grinned. “Oh, stop,” he said. “I’m just gonna get you worked up while I get myself worked open, okay? I won’t let you cum just yet.” 

Shine could not have said that any more casually, but god did it shoot something destructive and fast as a bullet through Valen’s veins. He eased his grip on Shine’s hair, and Shine laid a kiss on Valen’s wrist. “Tell me if you’re getting close,” he whispered. 

And that was that. He laid a small kiss to the tip of Valen’s cock, then wrapped his lips around him, sinking down. 

Valen made a short, strangled noise he couldn’t quite contain, shoving his hips down into the bed as if to flee the feeling. But Shine’s hand was wrapped around his base, his mouth working his crown, and there was no escaping  _ this _ . 

Shine’s tongue rolled against Valen’s sensitive skin, and a gentle suction made Valen lean his head back hard into the pillow. 

“Oh,” he whispered, and Shine hummed around him. Distracted as he was, Valen barely noticed Shine’s hand reaching back, but he  _ felt  _ the moment Shine breached his own entrance. A burst of hot air blew out Shine’s nose, and the vibration of his moan trembled through Valen’s cock.

And that was just a  _ finger _ . “S-- Shine,” Valen eked out, hands finding purchase on the bed, too terrified to touch Shine himself. “Am I going to fit?”

Another laugh, this one muffled around Valen’s cockhead, and Valen supposed that was his answer. He curled his fingers into the duvet and let Shine set the pace. 

God, but Shine was good at this. He knew the pressure to put on the vein running the underside of Valen’s shaft, knew the rhythm to squeeze his hand and hollow out his mouth. And Valen could get lost in this if he let himself. 

But he was still hyper aware of Shine opening himself up, little jerks of his hips seeking more pressure, and Valen wanted to give that to him, to give him anything he wanted. 

If he could last long enough to do so. 

Shine sank down Valen’s cock, taking him nearly down to the root, and Valen turned his head into the pillow. “St--stop,” he said, and Shine pulled back. Valen cracked open his eyes as Shine licked his spit-slick lips. His free hand hand came to Valen’s thigh, rubbing, soothing. 

Valen’s prick looked monstrous, massive and straining, slick and wet in the room’s dim light. Even he was afraid of it, and it was  _ attached _ to him. How could  _ Shine,  _ small and lithe as he was, want to --

“We’ll slow down,” Shine promised him. 

“I don’t believe you,” Valen muttered. “You were getting ready to swallow me whole just then.”

“I  _ did _ swallow you whole.” Shine chuckled, climbing up Valen’s body and straddling his hips. He leaned in, then, kissing the curve of Valen’s jaw, his chin, and finally his lips. Valen sank into the kiss, tasting himself on Shine’s tongue, bringing his hands to Shine’s back to hold him there.

Shine’s hips rolled lazily, their cocks brushing every so often, but it wasn’t the onslaught of feeling that it had been before. Slowly, the threat of Valen’s orgasm receded like a tide, and he breathed a little easier into Shine’s mouth. 

Not too long after, though, Shine’s hand returned to his own ass, and he began to finger himself in earnest as the kisses grew more heated, as the search for friction between them became more intentional. Valen’s hands roamed down to Shine’s cheeks and spread them slightly, unable to imagine how Shine could find  _ that  _ pleasurable.

He did, though, clearly. His breath was speeding up, punctuated here and there with tiny, needy whines. And Valen swallowed his fear when Shine nipped his lip and whispered in a low, rough voice: “Ready when you are, big guy.”

Valen was never going to be ready. But the idea of stopping now made his gut clench. He wanted this. He wanted Shine. He wanted to make Shine feel good, and he wanted Shine to want to do the same for him. 

“I understand we need, ah,” Valen turned his face to the side, cleared his throat. “Lubrication. Protection.”

“Way ahead of you,” Shine said. He leaned over to the side, reaching for the bedside table and pulling open the drawer. From there, he retrieved a small bottle and a much larger box. The label on the latter read “magnum sized.” 

Shine, for all his qualities, could not be considered magnum sized in any dimension. “Now why did you have those lying around?” Valen asked in sudden confusion as Shine sat back on his knees and broke into the box. 

“I bought ‘em, like,  _ months _ ago,” Shine admitted. “Pretty much right after you let me touch your dick.” 

Valen scoffed. “Incorrigible,” he muttered. 

“Optimistic,” Shine corrected. He wore a sideways little smile as he tore into a small foil package and tossed the box over to the side. Condoms spilled out over the king-sized mattress, but Shine hardly seemed bothered by the mess. 

In fact, he was intent on his goal. He didn’t waste a moment, taking Valen in-hand once more and rolling the condom gently down his length. Valen took a deep, steadying breath, and Shine met his eyes. 

“I been thinkin’ about this a long time,” he admitted softly.

Valen managed a choked laugh. “And you haven’t made any secret about it,” he pointed out.

Shine whapped his thigh. “I was tryin’ to be genuine,” he whined.

“You’re the most genuine person I know,” Valen said in honesty. “For better or worse.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment, if you don’t mind.”

Reaching up, Valen laid a hand on the curve of Shine’s cheek, holding him there and looking into Shine’s eyes -- suddenly narrowed in confusion as his smile slipped. He  _ was  _ the most genuine person Valen had ever met, so unashamedly himself, so unequivocally unique. Valen never expected Shine. Never planned for him. Never prepared for this.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Valen whispered. And he meant all of it, any kind of hurt Shine could suffer. Here, now, or in the future when Valen inevitably ruined this miracle that had thrown itself into his lap.

“You won’t.” It sounded like a promise, and Valen, damn him, believed him. They kissed then, slow and easy and comfortable, warm and tender, the kind of kiss that centered Valen in his body in a way he’d never felt centered before Shine.

A kiss like that was the only thing that could’ve prepared him for more.

When Shine pulled away, he didn’t stop again to ask if Valen was alright, if this was okay. As though he could feel it in him. Instead, he slicked Valen up quickly, a few firm strokes with a lubed hand, before he crawled back into Valen’s lap. He rocked down against him, Valen’s cock slipping into the crack of Shine’s cheeks. The condom dulled the friction a little -- a small blessing.

Shine’s hands clenched against Valen’s chest, tangling up in his chest hair. Valen, for his part, found Shine’s thighs, rubbing up and down more to quiet his own nerves than anything else. And when Shine sat up on his knees, guided Valen’s cockhead toward his slick entrance, Valen held his breath.

It wasn’t just anticipation. It wasn’t just fear. It was Shine, beautiful and gleaming like he had been earlier that day, the honey glow of the bedside table lamp shedding shadows at his hip and ribs. 

Shine sank down, slow, Valen’s crown pushing past his opening as Shine’s lips parted. “Oh,” Shine breathed, and Valen clamped his teeth closed against a similar sound. God but Shine was  _ tight _ . Hot and slick as he sank down over Valen’s cock. It was a torturous pace, so slow he was barely moving at all, and after a few moments he rose up again, sinking back down and taking just a little bit more, centimeter by centimeter. Valen’s fingers clenched into Shine’s thighs.

“You okay?” Shine asked breathlessly.

Valen’s eyes widened. “Me? You’re the one I’m worried about.” His voice came out tight, an octave higher than he usually spoke. It would’ve been embarrassing if it didn’t make Shine’s face light up.

Shine huffed a laugh, a hand running up Valen’s chest as he pushed down just a little farther. “I’m fine, big guy,” Shine whispered. He rose, fell, setting up a slow metronomic rhythm, taking Valen deeper each time. Valen tried not to buck into the pressure, to seek it out, tried to let Shine set the pace.

Funny, he had wanted Shine to go slow so desperately, and now ....

“Better than fine,” Shine continued, almost absently as he sank nearly to Valen’s base. Valen bit his lip. “Ain’t never felt so fuckin’ full. You’re fucking … fucking  _ perfect _ , Valen.”

Valen did his damndest not to whimper, did his damndest not to move, but his prick twitched and throbbed and by the time Shine finally -- with a deep, shuddering breath -- settled into Valen's lap, Valen let out a sigh that could have been a moan.

He was buried now to the hilt inside Shine, warm and deep, and if he had thought Shine’s hand or mouth had felt good,  _ this _ was --

Hands running up and down Valen’s chest, Shine tweaked one of Valen’s nipples, prompting a thoroughly ridiculous squeak. 

“What was that for?” Valen choked out.

“You look like you’re about to throw me off and make a run for it,” Shine said. He wasn’t moving, just sitting there, adjusting to the pressure, but his prick stood hard and flushed between them, and it was clear he wasn’t unaffected. 

“It’s --” Valen began. But Shine clenched almost imperceptibly around him as he shifted, and Valen sucked in a breath through his teeth. “It’s a lot,” he finished lamely, quickly. 

“I’ll say,” Shine whispered. He tugged a strand of chest hair, almost shy when he added, “Can I kiss you?” 

Valen’s answer didn’t take an ounce of thought. “ _ Please _ .”

Shine leaned forward, the movement pulling Valen half out of him, and Valen bit back a groan at the feeling as Shine’s weight settled over him, as he pressed chaste, almost teasing kisses against Valen’s lips, pulling back whenever Valen sought more. Valen’s hands roamed up Shine’s back as Shine began to roll his hips.

“Hmm,” Shine mumbled, content and warm. “You feel so good.” But Shine had no  _ idea _ . Valen had never felt anything like this in his  _ life _ . He pulled Shine in close, kissed him in desperate distraction as Shine clenched and unclenched, rolled back and forth, practically pulling Valen inside him, deeper with each roll. The pressure was easing gently now, little by little, the slick slide of their bodies less labored, and Shine’s hips hitched and bucked as he sought more friction. 

And Valen wanted it, too. Experimentally, he rolled his hips once to meet Shine’s, and Shine gasped into his lips. “ _ Fuck _ .”

An apology tried to form on Valen’s tongue, but Shine shoved back on to him so hard and fast it made Valen’s vision waver. “Yes,” Shine whispered, tongue flicking out to taste Valen’s lower lip. “Just like that, big guy, you’re so good.”

If it was a lie, it was a beautiful one. Valen wrapped his arms around Shine with more confidence, rolling his hips to meet Shine’s once again. Shine dropped his head to the crook of Valen’s neck, and he took some skin between his teeth -- a sharp bite of not-quite-pain that made Valen shudder. 

“Shine,” he whispered. He didn’t know why he said it.

Shine hummed in response, rutting against Valen’s stomach as he rolled back onto Valen’s cock. “I’ve got you,” Shine whispered into his skin, pressing his lips wherever he could reach.

He was moving faster now, shifting so he was farther down Valen’s body, so he could take him deeper. His lips found Valen’s sternum, his nipple. His hand found Valen’s hand. “I’ve got you,” Shine whispered again, threading their fingers together.

Valen held him tight, head thrown back against the pillow, eyes screwed shut against the feeling -- Shine’s heat and breath and the sweat of his skin, his cock leaking over Valen’s abdomen. 

And just as a deep, pleasured sound caught itself in his throat, Shine lifted up on his knees, pulling Valen out entirely. Valen’s eyes blew open. Had he done something wrong? Was Shine upset? But Shine was smiling when he met Valen’s eyes. He ran his free hand through the short, tumbling waves of his violet hair, pushing it back from his forehead. Then, he sank back down, taking Valen in one smooth motion.

“ _ Oh _ ,” Valen groaned, just as Shine bit out a harsh “ _ fuck _ .” And Shine laughed almost giddily.

“That’s the fuckin’ ticket,” Shine managed to say, and then he did it all over again. Heat coiled tight in Valen’s gut as Shine took him down to his base, once more, again, again, their clenched hands resting on Shine’s straining thigh.

It felt like Valen was burning, flames of arousal flicking through his veins like the first sparks of a wildfire, his whole body clenching and releasing each time Shine rolled onto him. “Shine,” he whispered quickly, digging his fingers into Shine’s thigh. 

His lover seemed to understand the half-formed plea. Because Shine laid over him again, their lips crashing together as he shoved Valen’s hand over his head and held it there against the pillow, riding Valen’s cock with such relentless determination it made Valen see stars. Valen lifted his knees, planted his feet on the bed and met Shine’s rhythm as best he could, even as the world began to get white at its edges. 

Shine’s free hand reached between them and he started stroking himself, fast and breathless. “Valen,” he whispered, Valen’s name in this moment somehow the most beautiful thing Shine had ever said. “I wanna cum with -- with you inside me, alright?” 

Or maybe  _ that _ was the most beautiful thing Shine had ever said. The words sent electricity sparking through Valen’s fingertips down to his toes, and he felt himself nodding numb and dumb as Shine’s kiss-bitten lips curled into a smile against his own. 

Shine tugged himself off quicker, then, not even bothering with rhythm as they crashed together haphazardly, nearly painfully, chasing their own ends. And it was with Shine’s hand holding his own and Shine’s body moving over his own and Shine’s breath in his own lungs that Valen reached that peak, pleasure crashing over him like a tidal wave as he bucked up into Shine’s body and held Shine against him with a trembling hand. 

He may have cried out. He may have spoken. He may have said Shine’s name at the height of the crescendo, but everything drowned in a deafening thrill except the pulsing pleasure ripping through him, the way Shine clamped down over him and rolled slowly to eke out Valen’s orgasm. And, in moments, Shine’s own spend splattering wet and hot over Valen’s stomach. 

“ _ Shit _ ,” Shine whispered against Valen’s lips, “shit, fuck, oh,  _ shit _ .  _ Valen _ .”

It was like trying to hear him over the sound of a churning river, Valen’s blood pounding in his ears. Valen’s body was coiled tight as a rubber band, but a rush of something blew through him, like a hot breeze, and he practically crumpled, tension leaving him in one fell swoop.

Shine let out a breathless half-laugh, a little trill like a songbird as he collapsed too. Valen’s cock was still inside him, still throbbing with the after-effects of his orgasm, but Shine didn’t seem to mind. He draped himself over Valen’s body, nuzzled into his chest, and took a deep breath like the scent of Valen’s sweat was a fine, Parisian perfume. Though he still held Valen’s hand, his other remained wrapped around his own cock, stroking slow and lazy. 

With each deep breath Valen took, he watched the rumpled curls of Shine’s purple hair rise and fall with his rising and falling chest. 

They didn’t speak for a few minutes, just laid there together, Valen running a hand up and down Shine’s back. Sweat had begun to bead along his spine, and Valen thought of earlier that day. How graceful and beautiful Shine had been as he danced.

But that was the Shine he shared with the world. Only Valen could have this. Now, maybe forever.

“So,” Shine muttered after a while, breath tickling Valen’s chest hair. “What’d ya think?”

Valen snorted. “I might ask you the same question.”

With another little giggle, almost childish, Shine ducked his forehead between Valen’s pecs. “I ain’t givin’ you a grade on this, big guy,” he said, and when he lifted his eyes he looked beautifully blissed out. His pupils were wide, a lazy smile spread over his lips. Valen wondered if he himself looked the same -- likely the blush was splotchy on his cheeks, his hair a staticky mess where he’d left it in its tie. But Shine looked at him like he was beautiful anyway.

Shine shifted, pulling off of Valen’s softening cock. Oversensitive, Valen sucked in a short gasp, which turned into a surprised chuckle when Shine pinched his side. “You stay right here,” he ordered. With that, he tugged the condom off Valen’s cock, tied it up, and climbed over Valen to the edge of the bed. 

“And where do you think you’re going?” Valen asked sleepily, blinking over Shine’s frame as Shine stood and stretched out his back. 

“Don’t think you wanna sleep with my jizz all over you,” Shine said. But as he tossed the condom in the wastebasket by the bedside table, he leaned down, planting a soft kiss to Valen’s forehead. 

“Unless you’re ready for round two.” 

Valen pulled back, startled, and Shine laughed something hearty and full. “Kidding, big guy,” he said, brushing a lock of hair off Valen’s forehead. “I ain’t done that in a long time. We’re restin’ up now, yeah?”

Relaxing minutely, Valen sighed. “Please.” The warm weight of afterglow had settled on his chest, and he didn’t want to move, let alone go through all the tension and nerves again just yet. 

Shine gave him an encouraging little smile, then turned to the bathroom on the other side of the room. Valen watched him walk away, that perfectly round ass, streaks of lube running down his thighs. And, by the good lord, Valen had done that. Valen looked down to his stomach, ran a finger through Shine’s cum. 

_ Valen had done that. _

When Shine emerged from the bathroom a few moments later with a wet towel in his hands, he must have noticed something in Valen’s eyes. 

“You okay?”

He climbed back over Valen’s thighs, the bedframe creaking with his slight weight.

“Just thinking,” Valen answered. Shine rested the warm towel against Valen’s stomach, cleaning him off gently. 

“About?”

“I’m no longer a virgin.” It was strange to say it aloud. There’d be a confessional waiting for him one of these days. But…

“How’s it feel?” Shine’s eyes glinted like gold with gentle curiosity, and Valen laid a hand over his. Movement stilled, and Shine’s lips ticked in a little smile.

It felt inevitable, but Valen didn’t know how to say that aloud. It felt like a culmination. It felt like he hoped it always would. He could only have shared that moment with someone he cared about. And he could only have  _ enjoyed _ it with someone he loved. 

“Good,” he settled on. And he hoped the rest might communicate itself. 

Shine grinned, and in moments he had tossed the towel over to the floor and curled up at Valen’s side.

They’d need to pull back the covers, snuggle in, pick up the condoms Shine had spilled everywhere. And Valen desperately wanted to brush his teeth before sleep took him. But for now Shine’s hand came to rest on his chest and Valen tucked his nose into Shine’s hair, and he felt … comfortable.

Valen had been a lot of things in his life, but never comfortable. Never like this. 

“If…” Valen started, and Shine lifted his head.

“What is it, big guy?”

Valen chewed his lip for a moment. “Now, supposing you  _ were  _ to give me a grade…”

After blinking at him for a moment, Shine burst into a laugh, shoving Valen’s shoulder. “Oh for the love of -- you are ridiculous. I ain’t gonna give you a grade.”

“I knew it, I was terrible, wasn’t I?” Valen asked, hoping the joking tone of his voice disguised any remaining worry he felt. 

Shine leaned up to nibble Valen’s ear lobe, almost in punishment. “You were perfect,” Shine said. And the honesty in his voice gave Valen a moment of pause. He turned to see the expression on Shine’s face, one of soft wonder and satisfied, muffled heat. 

“I’ll get better,” Valen promised him then, and Shine just raised a hand to Valen’s cheek. 

“Well I ain’t gonna tell you not to practice,” he said. “Not because you wasn’t good, but because  _ I _ get to be your personal trainer.”

“My ‘ruthless taskmaster’?” Valen asked, recalling Shine’s harsh dance instructor. Shine laughed, flopping over Valen’s chest. 

“The  _ worst _ . You ain’t gonna get a moment’s rest with me.”

Considering Shine was the one who was looking to sleep already, Valen doubted that, but he rather liked the idea of practice: Shine walking him through all the things he didn’t know, Shine teaching him not just how to have sex like he’d been trying to learn through his magazines and video tapes, but how to have sex with  _ Shine _ . 

This was it for him. No matter what happened next, no matter if he screwed this up or Shine got bored or life pulled them apart, this was  _ it _ . He’d waited 32 years for Shine, and he hadn’t even known it.

Shine nuzzled into him, breathing deep. “Turn off the light, big guy?” he asked lazily. 

Valen complied, reaching up to flick off the bedside lamp. The room fell into near-darkness, but for the New York City skyline shining out from the window.

And, of course, the brightest light. Shine himself, his thigh draped over Valen’s, a silent symphony of shadow and city glare. 

“I’ll … I’ll still be here in the morning,” Valen echoed Shine’s earlier words softly, so quiet he wasn’t sure Shine even heard him.

But Shine smiled against his chest and breathed a contented sigh. “I know, big guy. I know you will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!


End file.
